Friday, February 27, 2009

Control issues

Guess what? I am a control freak! I know that this is quite the revelation for those who don't really know me, but my need for control has got to stop. I think that God is using this trip to India to help me let go of my need to control. The past two weeks have continued to be a struggle. Finally, Jeneson and I had a brutally honest 'talk'. Basically, I often want to control what others do, how they react, what they say, etc... and reality is that I cannot. I have to just let it all go. I can barely control myself at times, what makes me think that I can control others. I also need to let go of my expectations. As Jeneson said, 'I'm not even sure if you know what to expect of yourself'. Oh, the things God is teaching me during this trip!

These past couple of days has been a little better. In addition to my revised expectations, Josiah has started playschool. He goes everyday for 2 hours and gets to play with kids his own age. He seems to really like it as he only cried the first day that we dropped him off. Still working on those photos.


Sandy Kokaly said...

Control? You might take after your Dad on that one. What do you think? Glad to hear Josiah will be in playschool, at least for a while. He is such a social little guy. A lot of people in the church are keeping up with your adventure. And there are lots of prayers, too. Take care and love you all, MOM

Bill Kokaly said...

Lets try this again (3rd time)
I think you control issues come down from your Grandfather, ala JDL.

I have been following your blog and hope that all is well. Gail & I are very proud of what you & Jeneson are doing and wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers every gay.

Take care

Bill & Gail Kokaly Gainesville GA